Check out this episode of the recent “Lawyers Who Care” podcast where Host Andrew Samalin interviewed our Family Law/Matrimonial Law Partner, Atty Bruggemann, about being a trusted advisor. Atty specializes in high-stakes matrimonial and family law cases, where emotions often run as high as the financial stakes. But for Atty, it’s more than just litigation—it’s about being a trusted advisor and emotional anchor for her clients during life’s most difficult transitions. From unexpectedly entering law via the oil business to becoming a respected force in family law, Atty shares why trust is the cornerstone of effective legal representation. She offers powerful insights into what makes a great divorce attorney, how to spot red flags in legal counsel, and why a deep understanding of a client’s story can change the entire outcome of a case.

To listen to the conversation, click here or read the transcript below:

Andrew: Welcome to Lawyers Who Care, the video show podcast that highlights attorneys who go above and beyond for their clients. On each episode, we meet a new lawyer who shares stories of when they went beyond the call of duty for the benefit of their clients.

My name is Andrew Samalin, principal of Saman Wealth, a nationally recognized wealth management firm for lawyers, their firms, and their clients. Let's applaud lawyers who care and learn from them. Today, my guest is Atty Bruggemann, a partner at Gallet Dryer &  Berkey in New York City. Atty practices matrimonial and family law with a particular focus on high-stakes matrimonial cases. Welcome Atty!

Atty: Thank you, Andrew, thank you for having me.

Andrew: So, Atty, tell us what brought you to the law.

Atty: I did not want to be a lawyer, truth be told. I was in the oil business with my father, and he said, "I want you to do anything but this." So, I'll pay for law school. You go. If you like it great, if you don't, great too. So, he sent me to law school, and I took a family law class, and that's where I decided that I was going to be a divorce lawyer. I applied for an internship with a matrimonial judge, and I was the only applicant. So, my professor said, "You got the internship, congratulations. You were the only applicant nobody else wanted to go into this area of the law."

So, I did that internship, and I met so many great lawyers in the matrimonial bar that summer. I started working for some of them, and I never got out. So, it sucked me in, and it's kept me to this day.

Andrew: Got it. So, hold on, going back to the oil business, did you grow up in the tri-state area? And how does one get into the oil business? We’re not talking oil drilling, are we?

Atty: My grandfather was in World War II, and he was an oil broker for the US Army. After he finished his time in the army, he said, "I can do this, you know, on the civil side of things rather than for the government." So, he started an oil brokerage firm, basically like a real estate broker, but you're brokering barrels of oil. My dad took over for him, and then my dad wanted somebody to come in. But he didn't necessarily want his daughter; he wanted his son. But my brother wanted no part of it, so I joined him. But he said, "You're destined for bigger and better things."

And so, he gave me the opportunity to go for it, and fast forward, I have this internship, and I begin down this path of matrimonial law.

Andrew: As your career evolves, you have these incredible stories that creep up. Do you want to share one of them with everybody?

Atty: Sure! As matrimonial lawyers, you see a lot of clients at the toughest time of their lives, and you're dealing with the two things that are most important to them: Their children and their money.

So many times when you have these clients, there are so many emotions wrapped up in what, in the law, is typically a “business transaction.” But in this area, it's not that simple. It's dealing with a lot more. What I try to do in my practice is to take care of each one of the clients. I do believe that matrimonial lawyers are in the service business and that we have a duty to serve our clients and do it in the best way that we can. However, while you're doing that, because there are so many emotions involved, people trust you with things they wouldn't otherwise share with their parents, siblings, best friends, or even their therapists.

I've had clients say to me, "Listen, don't you know I haven't even told my therapist this, but I know you won't judge me, so in full disclosure, you know I’ll spill my guts to you." And I think that part of gaining trust with clients and being that person for them, because they can't tell this kind of thing to anybody else, maybe in the whole world, to me, is really what this business is about. Of course, it's also about getting justice, doing the right thing, and achieving a good result for your client. But it's also about helping people through a really tough time. And I think that most matrimonial lawyers do a great job at that. It really is part of the practice, and it really is part of this side of the law – this client-centric focus. That concept of the lawyer as therapist (although you certainly don't go that far) is a really big part of what you do. And I often say to my clients, “You know, there are therapists that are far cheaper than I am and much more capable of giving you real guidance. But you know sometimes people really do just need an ear and someone to listen and not to say, Well, you should do this, or I told you that you should never have married him, or you baby those kids…”

You know, people don't want to hear that. They want to hear, “I understand. I hear what you are going through…” Sometimes it's just letting them vent, but that's really, I think, how you gain trust. So that when you come up with a real, practical solution for them, it's much different than therapy.

Therapists say, "Well, what do you think you should do?”

I'm telling them what they should do. And I think that's really powerful to people in the situation that they're going through. It's different for each client. But I think the more you know about a client’s situation, the more it can impact the outcome, because matrimonial law is really about telling a story to the judge and the court. You tell the story to get the narrative out. The more that you know about the client, the more you're able to not only tell that story, and create the narrative, and create your trial strategy, you're also able to focus on the client and how they're going to take particular news or how they're going to react to certain things that happen as the case evolves.

I believe that, in getting to know clients and developing a strategy as a matrimonial litigator, the more you know about your client, the better off you are. So, in order to get that information from the client, you really do have to build that trust.

Andrew: Is your practice limited strictly to litigation? Do you do any collaborative work? Do you do mediation? And what does that look like?

Atty: I don't do collaborative or mediation, although I'm in the process of taking a mediation class, and I think it's fascinating. I think it's really a part of the process that should be examined by more people. I think it's really a valuable tool, but when that doesn't work, you know I'm here to litigate for you.

Andrew: What do you recommend to clients who may have counsel that is just not the right fit, or they don't feel like the counsel is working in their best interest? What do you recommend they do?

Atty: I think choosing a matrimonial lawyer is much different than choosing a real estate lawyer to close on your house or a transactional lawyer to help you establish a business because of everything that we talked about – about the deep details, the emotional part of it you really have to interview people and not just buy the first person that you see. I think you really do have to take time to interview attorneys.

There are lawyers who will signal “red flags” in the first meeting, or once you hire them, they will not return your phone calls, or not return your emails, or brush you off. And there are lawyers who are quantity matrimonial lawyers. They handle a large number of cases at the same time. I think you really have to find someone willing to give your case the time it deserves.

If you just want a quick divorce, by all means, engage that attorney. But if it's really complicated, especially with children, I think you have to be very careful and not just jump at the first person that you meet.

Andrew. Thanks to my guest, Atty Bruggemann. She is a partner at Gallet Dryer & Berkey, LLP in New York City. Atty, can you provide our audience with your contact information?

Atty: Sure, as Andrew said, I'm at Gallet Dryer & Berkey, LLP in New York City. My email is akb@gdblaw.com, and the website is www.GDBLaw.com.